from the deepest place inside
the one humans call love
i brought
five fingers slick and black with blood
a piece of flesh the size of a rock
the kind of rock – perfect- which fills a hand
i put it on the table
and with my own fingers
tore at it
sinew, white veins, muscle
all rubber, bounce and sliding disobedience
i used my teeth ripping out the leather tubes
the clots of brown the pockets
i took a knife to the interior
and pinned it with a fork
looking for the thing inside
the key the coin
the answer
the glint of metal
the Ah I see it now
the thing inside which aches
so I could fling it from the highest roof
into the deepest sea
watch it sink and lose it
walk away light and laughing
the breeze colluding with the scarf across my hair
all my summers ahead of me
i used my teeth to tear the whole thing open
probably i don’t need to tell you
there was nothing there
just gristle smashed to brown
the table smeared with blood
and nothing other
i threw it on the floor for a dog
the thing still ached

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