Who are you ?
i ?
i am the not wishing things to be different
i am the turning to things as they are
i am the ins and the outs
the ups and the downs
without the layings-on-top of the mind
i am the dreams come true and
the catastrophes breaking down the walls
inside which you hide
i am the blazing fire into which all that is not
must be tossed
i am the inside out the guts and the squalor
i am the means by which you will find your way home
i am the answer to the secret wish that burns inside you:
you wish to raze your house to rubble
and that of your father and his father and his father before
i am the way out from all that is not
i am home.
you will find me when every possibility is exhausted
when all of it – the bright lights, the false promises, the lies that say FOREVER –
makes you sick
i am the mother you never had
the one behind the eyes that bathed you fed you
packed you off to school
i am the empty roar of life
the one that catches a leaf
in her teeth and spits it into forever
i am she of the blazing lamp
the one that doesn’t sleep
the one that will burn to ash your house of secret wishes
the ones that keep you bargaining with the world
i am she the only mother,
the one that knows her way in space and time
because i made it
i am She
Here.
Take my hand.
I of all things
Am the only can be trusted.
Take my hand
Burn