Who are you ? 

i ?

i am the not wishing things to be different

i am the turning to things as they are

i am the ins and the outs

the ups and the downs

without the layings-on-top of the mind 

i am the dreams come true and 

the catastrophes breaking down the walls 

inside which you hide

i am the blazing fire into which all that is not 

must be tossed

i am the inside out the guts and the squalor

i am the means by which you will find your way home

i am the answer to the secret wish that burns inside you: 

you wish to raze your house to rubble

and that of your father and his father and his father before

i am the way out from all that is not 

i am home. 

you will find me when every possibility is exhausted

when all of it – the bright lights, the false promises, the lies that say FOREVER –

makes you sick

i am the mother you never had

the one behind the eyes that bathed you fed you

packed you off to school

i am the empty roar of life

the one that catches a leaf

in her teeth and spits it into forever 

i am she of the blazing lamp

the one that doesn’t sleep

the one that will burn to ash your house of secret wishes

the ones that keep you bargaining with the world

i am she the only mother, 

the one that knows her way in space and time

because i made it

i am She

Here.

Take my hand. 

I of all things

Am the only can be trusted.

Take my hand

Burn

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